Anger

Posted by Dennis Ng , Tuesday, June 9, 2009 3:01 PM

One thing that i've learn from the book titled "Emotions" which Ian gave me, is about anger.
I never come to realize that in a conflict those who are right are in a more dangerous situation than those who are in the wrong. Because they are even more tempted to sin in their anger since they can justify to hold on to their anger. There are 2 kinds of anger, one "Difinitive Anger" which means that you get angry when people hurts you, another is "Distorted Anger" is that you get angry when you cannot get something you want.

^{James Chapter 4: (Explanation of Distorted anger)
1}What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? ²You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. ³When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

My anger is towards difinitive anger that also puts me in danger. I am cheated and being taken advantage of in a relationship, totally being make use for selfish purposes and that is not the end. Some of my friends are being brainwash and i am being bad mouth by this same person. I felt very bitter to the person who has done such a thing to me. I hated people who are disloyal and lies to me. I hold a very strong anger in my heart that i have already condemned the person. I told myself never again i will trust and believe this person. I have expressed my feelings to this person in very cruel and harsh manner. I used the most unkind words i can find to throw and attack in revenge. But in this book, with biblical teachings its states that "Nothing justifies an attitude of hatred or a desire to harm another person, and we are treading on dangerous ground when our thoughts and actions begin leading us in that direction". Basically, such anger is unacceptable when it motivates us to hurt another person.

It teaches me to express my wounds and hurts that is cause by the person than to use words to attack the person. For example, " i am hurt when i come to know that you have confide another man during the time of tension." Rather than saying;" How can you betray me and bitch around when on bad terms with me? Didnt you promise you never do that? You are such a liar! I knew it!" Well... i never knew that this itself is very hurting and vicious way of hurting another person. Because that is how i have always been towards this person. Though that is the very same way this person had treated me for the past few years. For some reason i gave whatever hurting words back to her for what ever i receive from her. I don't deny that i have done wrong.
I confess and i learn. I will learn not to do that again to any other person when i am angry. But to learn to have constructive anger instead.

But i'm glad to be single right now. Its the best time i can learn from my mistakes and grow on my relationship with God. I know that God is teaching me many precious lessons. And i thank God for what has happen. Though i still harbor bitterness towards this person, but this is my learning journey to grow to become a more mature Christian. This arn't easy. With some people judging and condemning you, its really not easy. I believe with all these experience, i can treat the people around me better with love, esp to the special one whom God will place as my life partner. So i am happy and glad. Its still within God's plan and work. =)

Retreat is coming, and there are things to prepare myself with. Once Church anniversery is over. I will join Covernant EFC for a couple of months. I want to stay away from problems and troubles. Sin is really a destructive and scary thing. You never know how much hatred people harbor in their hearts. Those that looks friendly many times are those that speak against you. I am actually living with such a group of friends! Feel like hiding in a cave and just let God minister to me. Now i am tired spiritually and emotionally after such a war. Feel like Elaijah, being chase after by an evil queen trying to kill me. Well one step at a time. Keeping everything constantly in prayer. May God stay close with me, in His hands!