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Posted by Dennis Ng , Tuesday, February 9, 2010 8:37 AM

I need to adjust myself once again, i've been jealous lately. Esp after the last comment i heard. I tried to contain myself, but i realize it hurts. Guess i'm affected. Trying to accept how i feel and see how i can deal with it. Let me face it honestly and lay my thoughts down. I think its easier that way.

Her need of company
Her need to communicate
Instantly i feel that i'm forgotten at times
Sometimes not weather they are attach or not
But a virtual boundary to keep
Because we often have the tendency to cross the line

Of my 26 years of exp, i learned not to take word for word what a women says.
Because ultimately is the result that telly and says

I think i regret signing up for it, esp when i loose my sense of purpose of going. If i keep this going on, i will eventually feel make used, feel neglected, feeling jealous and being compared. So its not the best if i go entirely for her or keep this attitude. Have to prevent developing baggage and grudge against her. I know so well how it works, and i dont wan it to happen.

I got to adjust my mindset, its not only for her that i go now. Its also for myself. I'm going to find new friends and partners, i need to set of new rules and attitude.

I Love Madeleine and i want to do much for her. And one of the first step, is to face my own struggles and thoughts. So that it may not affect her. Some things maybe on going for awhile, but i am always prepared for the worst.