Future

Posted by Dennis Ng , Wednesday, April 7, 2010 1:22 PM

Thinking about the future gets me worried recently. Am i able to afford a simple HDB house? Have enough savings for my studies at SIM? And then the capability to marry? All these are worrisome stuffs to thing about. At the rate i'm going everything seems impossible except studies. So wad? Then i shall clear my studies first.

Well... am i loosing out? Just because I dont come from a well off family? Unlike Kevin and Henry and many others, living in condos, exp apartments, good cars, good allowance. Even when compared to Madeleine's Ex boyfriends and her sisters boyfriend, i'm a loser. Her mum ask me to learn to drive, and with Madeleine also to prefer that. Hearing Madeleine's past experience with guys tells me that a guy with car makes a difference. A whole lot of difference. But i do not look down on myself. In fact i have pride for myself and my identity. I'm not a smoke nor a drinker, or someone that lust on girls or gambles. But the saying still goes; "No money, No talk"

I'm a young and simple man. Wanting to settle down peacefully and happily. But it seems impossible. Financial needs and survival is crucial & tough. Pay increases like peanuts, expenses increases like a bomb. I just wan to complete my studies first... I want to marry earlier.. i don't wish to wait too long. 5 years? 6 years? Why so long? I've always been searching for someone, that is sensible and mature enough that i may marry with. Someone whom i can rely and trust and live together. I wish i can marry at the age of 30, maybe like 3 years from now... thats of cos ideally. But if i dont have a partner by than it would be a impossible dream. Hopefully, my life partner to be would be Madeleine.

I will make plans... this year i will concentrate to develop the foundation of the relationship with Madeleine. And then follow by my studies. I will perhaps take up driving lessons next year. I'm hoping that someone can understand how i feel. The burdens and the stress... At least the relationship is still manageable, I hope it doesn't adds burden to me... Just like any others, i wan to be known and love, being treated exclusively specially.

I want the hugs and kisses and holding hands from Madeleine just for me only. I am a jealous man and i will nv allow sharing. A jealous man will revenge 7 folds, i would say 77 folds to be precise.